


love is (not) weakness

by hopskipaway



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Fluff, Minor John Murphy/Raven Reyes, Minor Monty Green/Harper McIntyre, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:47:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29446521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopskipaway/pseuds/hopskipaway
Summary: Clarke Griffin loves Valentine's Day. It's the perfect excuse to spread joy and love. Her girlfriend, Lexa, hates Valentine's Day. It’s a day full of disappointment and pain.However, with more love in the air than usual, maybe this just might be the year that Cupid finally wins.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 8
Kudos: 78
Collections: The t100 Writers for BLM Initiative





	love is (not) weakness

**Author's Note:**

> happy valentine’s day, everyone — and an extra special greeting for the person (on twitter) this was gifted to via the t100 fic for blm initiative!
> 
> i hope you enjoy this, and thanks to both you and your gift-giver. you are both so amazing! <3

Waking up to the incessant ringing of her morning alarm, Clarke quickly silenced her phone not wanting to wake up anyone else.

It was nine in the morning, on a Sunday, and Clarke knew that she should take advantage of her one guaranteed day off from the hospital. Instead, she’s always preferred to wake up early and enjoy every moment of her precious free time. She loves the quiet calm that mornings provided, and it was always when she got her best inspiration to draw.

Taking in her surroundings, and lifting the covers carefully, Clarke makes her way out of the bed making sure not to disturb neither the sleeping girl nor the cat sprawled out at the end of the mattress.

Padding over to the bookshelf, she pulled out her worn sketchbook and charcoal and took a seat in the neighboring desk’s chair.

Normally, Clarke would take advantage of the day and prepare a breakfast that was too time-consuming for her to make most days. Today, however, her fingers were itching to capture the moment before her.

The morning sun was filtering in through the curtains, basking the room in a warm glow. It was especially welcome after a week of near-constant rain. While Clarke was glad she didn’t live somewhere that snowed in the winter, the doom and gloom of rainy days still wore her down. It was silent outside, the world not yet bustling awake. The only noise Clarke could hear was the soft twin snores of the two she left in bed.

As she began sketching, she took notice of the way the covers fell around her muse’s waist. In only a loose tank top and shorts, Clarke could count every circle and marking that made up her girlfriend’s back tattoo.

It still stunned Clarke how beautiful Lexa was.

Clarke has never really understood poetry, but the eldest Blake sibling loves it. Just last night they had gone over to his apartment for some drinks, and after a few too many Bellamy had started waxing about Slyvia Plath and his love for his girlfriend, Gina. Clarke couldn’t remember the exact poem he had been stuck on; it was something about the moon, and how beautiful it was — annihilating too.

That was how Clarke felt about Lexa. They’ve been together for years, and she knows that the woman still holds her heart close to her chest; but Clarke knows the brightness that Lexa could share with the world, if only she opened up more.

Clarke gets to see it all the time. When Lexa gives her a soft smile in the evening’s glow, it makes Clarke feel like she’s the only person in the world. The way their cat, Aden, follows Lexa around the house almost constantly, just wanting to be in her presence. She even lets the guise slip when one of their friends is having a hard time, Lexa is always there to lend a gentle hand.

Even still, Lexa hides that soft part of herself away. Clarke couldn’t imagine what Lexa has been through, moving from house to house in the foster system during her childhood. She knows enough, however, to be grateful for every glimpse she sees of Lexa’s light.

Losing herself in her art, Clarke hardly notices that her stomach had started to growl or that she was in desperate need of the washroom. It was only when Lexa’s phone went off, that she realized how much time had slipped through her hands and onto the page before her.

“Have you been there all morning?” Her girlfriend asks, a knowing look on her face.

Clarke rolls her eyes, refusing to acknowledge how well Lexa can read her, and makes her way back to bed, placing a kiss on Lexa’s forehead as she lays down next to her. “Good morning, sleeping beauty.”

“Must we leave this bed at all today?” Lexa mused.

Clarke took Lexa’s hand into her own, toying with the rings that the brunette always wears.

“You know we are meeting Murphy at _Lincoln’s_ ,” Clarke replies. _Lincoln’s_ was a quaint little coffee shop owned by Octavia Blake’s boyfriend, both the cafe and the man being slightly rough around the edges but comforting all the same. “Besides, I think it’s time we settle the bet.”

Lexa’s face threatened to betray her smile, but she schooled her expression to level Clarke with a determined stare and declares, “You know I’m going to win, just like every other year.”

Clarke _did_ know that her chances were low; when you bet on a cockroach, you don’t often win. That never stops her, year after year, from hoping to come out victorious.

 _The Cupid Bet_ , as it was affectionately called within their friend group, was a yearly occurrence for the couple. Clarke, with her heart printed pajamas and playlists equipped with cheesy love songs, was a complete fan of the holiday. Every year, her parents always made sure to smother the girl in love and appreciation no matter how old she got, and she likes to spread that love to her friends and partners. She hit a roadblock, however, when she got with Lexa two and a half years ago. Clarke doesn’t know the full story, but she knows the hurt associated with the holiday runs deep for her girlfriend. A string of bad experiences caused Lexa to forever have a distaste for the day, and a lasting discomfort with displays of affection in general.

On their first holiday together, Clarke relented and let Lexa ignore it all; instead of a fancy dinner and exchanging gifts, they spent their evening watching scary movies and eating takeout. The next year, Clarke proposed a deal: if Murphy had a date, so did they. In all the years Clarke had known Murphy, he’s only ever had a couple of Valentine’s dates to speak of, as he hated the day almost as much as Lexa.

Naturally, Clarke lost miserably that first time; Clarke had a glimmer of hope when Murphy met Emori in January, but that fizzled out faster than it started and no date was had. 

Thankfully, Clarke Griffin doesn’t give up that easily, with only one loss behind her, she was determined that she could win. “I wouldn’t be so sure. Now get up, we have a date with destiny.”

♡ ♡ ♡

Clarke and Lexa made it to _Lincoln’s_ horrendously late since Lexa tried to make good on her suggestion to stay in bed all day. It didn’t matter though, since John Murphy existed on an entirely different plane of existence where time didn’t matter.

After placing their order with the young woman manning the register, Lexa and Clake made their way to their typical table to wait for their drinks and their friend.

Clarke waves when she sees Octavia and Lincoln himself enter the store, both carrying large boxes. She watched as they began to unpack them, revealing Valentine’s decorations for the shop. Lincoln pulls out an arrow, and pokes Octavia’s head with it before landing a kiss in the same spot. Clarke elbows her girlfriend when Lexa sticks out her tongue and rolls her eyes at the display.

Their order is finally called, and Clarke offers to go and get it. In the few minutes, it took to add the cream and sugar (one of each for Lexa, two of each for herself, and an outrageous four of each for Murphy) the man had finally made his appearance in the café.

Lexa already looked like she wanted to throttle him.

“What is it this time?” Clarke asks with a laugh. Setting the drinks down in front of everyone before taking her seat.

“He’s trying to say that the trade the Wanhedas made was actually good.” Lexa says, exasperated, “I mean, are you kidding me? Sindri for Ivon?”

Looking over at Murphy, Clarke could see him trying to cover up the smirk on his face by taking a sip of his coffee. Which ended up in a grimace - next time, Clarke was just going to fill up a cup full of sugar and give it to him.

“He’s saying that to get under your skin, Lex,” Covering up her own smile, she shot a playful glare at Murphy. He had a gift for making Clarke’s normally level-headed girlfriend lose her cool. “Anyway, what did we say about talking about hockey around me?”

“We can’t do it on Sundays.” They recite dutifully. Although Murphy mumbles his way through it like a petulant child, pout and all.

“That’s right. It’s my one day of rest,” Clarke lifts up her coffee cup in cheers. “ _Anyway…_ It’s one week until Valentine’s Day. Any plans, Murphy?”

Ignoring the kick she receives from Lexa for her lack of subtlety as a key rule of _The Cupid Bet_ was that Murphy can’t know about it, Clarke looks eagerly at the man.

“Valentine’s Day. Such a stupid _holiday_ .” Murphy says with accompanying air quotes, earning a smirk from Lexa. “However… I may have a date.”

Lexa begrudgingly pats Clarke on the back when the blonde starts choking on her coffee. For all the hope she had, she really didn’t think that she’d win. Or that Murphy had any potential love prospects.

“What? With who?” Clarke finally manages to gasp.

“After that display, I don’t think I should tell you.”

“Come on Murph,” Clarke begs, giving him her best impression of puppy-dog eyes.

“No, you’ve insulted me,” He grumbles.

“John,” Lexa warns. “Tell her.”

“Stop that! I hate it when you get all commanding,” Murphy frowns and rolls his eyes. “But fine, I’ll give you a hint. You already know her.”

Clarke’s eyes widen at that, a million questions running through her brain, but before she can grill him any further, Lexa interrupts.

“So Murphy managed to trick a girl into going on a date with him. Thrilling. Now, can we talk about something of actual interest?”

Lexa and Murphy start talking about something, some movie that had just come out, Clarke thinks. She can’t follow the conversation though. Absentmindedly chewing on the rim of her coffee cup, too many cogs turning in her brain to focus.

After all, it wasn’t every day that Lexa Woods was going to be celebrating Valentine’s Day.

♡ ♡ ♡

Clarke’s alarm wakes her up again at nine in the morning a week later, but this time she practically bolts out of their bedroom and makes her way to the kitchen, an extra spring in her step.

Today was the day, and Clarke was determined to make sure that everything goes perfectly to plan.

She starts off their day by cooking breakfast; heart shaped pancakes and a bright pink berry smoothie. She arranged two plates on a tray, along with a few roses plucked from the bouquet from her parents in a tiny vase, and brought it back to bed. Lexa mumbled her displeasure at the festive meal, but couldn’t hold back her appreciation when she actually took a bite. Clarke is glad she went to the extra effort of learning a new recipe from Murphy.

After they finish their meal, Lexa groans when Clarke pulls the covers down down to the base of the bed. Aden also lets out a disgruntled meow, as he had been lounging in his typical spot by Lexa’s feet.

“Can’t Valentine’s Day be an indoor event?” Lexa complains.

“If this is my one year to do Valentine’s Day right, we’re going all out,” Clarke explains. “Now, dress warm, it’s supposed to be nice out but it’s still February.”

Clarke leaves the room in a flourish, knowing that Lexa will listen to her. Going through her mental checklist, she manages to throw on a red flannel and blue jeans, gather their jackets and the bags she’d prepared, and make amends with Aden before Lexa slowly makes her way out of the bedroom dressed in all black.

“Come on, Valentine,” Clarke hooks her arm around Lexa’s, pulling her out the door.

In the parking lot of their little townhouse sits a classic Ford Mustang in a vibrant red, top undone.

“Is that Raven’s?” Lexa gapes.

“Yep.”

“How the hell did you get her to part with it?”

Clarke let out an exaggerated sigh, “I _did_ have to sell my soul to Raven, but her baby is ours for the day. The things I do for love.”

Just then, Clarke's phone rings, and she answers it on speakerphone.

"Speak of the devil. Hello, Raven," Clarke giggles.

"I just wanted to remind you that it can be a little tricky shifting gears sometimes, but if you just do what I showed you the other day it should be fine. Also, if you have to fill her up, please use premium, I-"

"Raven. I know. You told me all this already. Twice. Don't worry, I'll give you your baby back in one piece."

"Okay. Okay!” Raven laughs, “I really just wanted to say to have a Happy Valentine’s Day. I love you."

"Did you want me to hold up my phone to the car so _she_ can hear that?" Clarke asks. “I don’t know if she was listening.”

"I meant you, you idiot! Lexa too!"

With an encouraging look from Clarke, Lexa mumbles out a ‘I love you’ back.

"Bye Ray, I love you too." Clarke hangs up the phone and shakes her head at her girlfriend, a fond smile pulling up her face. 

Lexa pulls Clarke towards her and lands a kiss right on her lips, and pulls them over to the car, eyes tracing the vehicle approvingly. Clarke knew that while Lexa was not looking forward to leaving the house today, she’s always had an appreciation for Raven’s car.

“Okay Lex, I believe we have a date to go on. If you're lucky, I might even let you drive on the way back."

♡ ♡ ♡

The drive to their first stop was uneventful. Clarke kept the holiday talk to a minimum, and she even let Lexa put on her own music to avoid the radio lineups for the day.

They made their way out of the city, down winding roads and fields of green. Less vibrant than they are in the summer months when wildflowers grow free but still beautiful. The air turns salty the closer they get to the ocean, and Clarke revels in the smell. She's happy she decided to take the top down in the Mustang, especially when she glances over and sees the carefree smile on Lexa's face. Wind blowing her hair wild, she's never looked more beautiful.

Finally, Clarke pulls off the main road and onto a rest stop hub. Gas stations lined the road, but their destination was at the very end.

 _Sweethearts Corner_ , stated proudly, encased in a giant heart.

Beside her, Lexa lets out a small groan as Clarke parks right near the entrance.

“If it helps your reputation as a Valentine’s Scrouge, we could go by alter-egos for the day.”

“Oh? Who would I be?”

“Hmm… I think you could pass as a Becca. Very no-nonsense, don’t you think?”

“And who would _Becca’s_ girlfriend be?”

“Something fun, of course. Josephine… but Josie for short!”

“I think we can stick to our real names, Clarke,” Lexa takes a look out into the desolate parking lot. “Besides, I don’t think we’re going to run into anyone we know out here.”

Clarke responds with a suspicious wink, and they exit the vehicle. Lexa reaches for Clarke's hand as they head towards the entrance to the small diner.

They are met by a peppy blonde, wearing a name tag that reads Harper, looking down at the utensils she was wrapping in napkins. “Happy Valentine’s Day! Is it just the two of you today?” When Harper looks up, her eyes widen. “Clarke, I thought we were going to get together next week!”

At Lexa’s confusion, Clarke explains, “Well you already know about my girlfriend, Lexa… And this is Harper McIntyre… or well, Green! We were friends in high school and she just moved back to Arkadia.”

“My family owns this diner, and when they retired. my husband and I decided to move back home and run it,” Harper continues. “I messaged Clarke on Facebook and we had plans for next week, so this is a surprise!”

Clarke shrugs, “I always loved coming here with the gang, it always felt so cozy and full of love. What better place to spend the holiday, right?”

Harper gave a very enthusiastic agreement, and led the couple to a cozy booth by the window. A view of the ocean could just barely be seen over the nearby ridge.

“I’ll also be serving you today, can I get you anything to drink while you look at the menu?”

Lexa looks at Clarke for approval, and answers for both of them. “I’ll take a water, and she’ll have a sweet tea, please.”

At that, Harper smiles.

“You two are very sweet,” At Lexa’s blush, Harper adds “Sorry, I couldn’t help it! Now, I’ll be right back with those drinks.”

Clarke smiles at her girlfriend’s flushed face, who was trying to look unbothered by looking at her cell phone, before glancing down at the menu.

“So,” Lexa starts, Clarke knowing that she wants to change the subject. “Did Raven not have any plans today?”

“She did, but she just wasn’t going to use the car. She said she was going to the Planetarium.”

Clarke is surprised by Lexa’s sudden bark of laughter and gestures for her to explain herself.

“Look at this.” Lexa thrusts her phone into Clarke’s line of vision, and she sees Murphy’s location on Find My Friends. After one too many missing cell phones, the man’s location is a mainstay on the app for most of their friends. Clarke takes a second to register what she was looking at, but then she puts it all together.

Murphy had a date. With someone they know. At the Planetarium.

“Oh my god,” Clarke breathes. “I can’t tell if that’s perfect, or a recipe for disaster. That _does_ explain the weird looks they’ve been giving each other lately, it was like they had some weird inside joke.”

Lexa opened her mouth to say something, but Harper came back with their drinks. Clarke ordered first, giving Lexa time to catch up.

“Is it normally this slow?” Clarke asks Harper after putting in her order.

“Not usually, but I suppose people are off enjoying much more elaborate celebrations,” Harper explains. “I guess you two don’t mind a low-key Valentine’s Day?”

“We normally don’t celebrate at all, actually.”

Harper dramatically gasps at that. “Are you insane? It’s the best day of the year!”

Clarke raises an eyebrow. “You’re spending the _‘best day of the year’_ working? By choice?”

“This isn't really work when it's with Monty.” Harper shrugs, “We’re just happy to be together. Isn’t that what it’s all about?”

“No,” Lexa speaks up. “It’s about selling stuff. And, in honor of that, I’ll get the Caesar wrap with fries, please.”

Clarke shakes her head at Harper, mouthing an apology, but the waitress just giggles.

Handing over their menus, the couple falls into a comfortable silence. Harper brings out their food a short while later, the diner’s lack of customer’s making things go by quickly.

Clarke steals a fry from Lexa’s plate, and the brunette only looks fondly at her and moves the plate towards the middle of the table.

“I love you,” Clarke tells her.

“It’s just fries, Clarke.”

“No. I love you. Always. Today, tomorrow, and all the days after that.” Clarke says seriously. “I know you hate things like this, but if I can’t say them today, then what’s the point? I love you, Lexa Woods.”

“I love you too,” Lexa replies softly. “I know I don’t say that often enough, and I’m sorry for that. I’m also sorry for how unreasonable I have been. I feel like everyone I’ve ever been with has been ruined by this… day. What happened with Costia, _on_ Valentine’s Day... How I lost her… It’s just—“

“I know, Lex. It’s okay.” Clarke slides out of her side of the booth and makes Lexa scoot over. Smiling when Lexa’s arm reaches around Clarke’s waist and snuggles in closer.

They spend the rest of their meal cozying up together, sharing fries and more than their fair share of kisses, and Clarke feels like she’s hit a breakthrough. Clarke has always been the softer, more emotional one in their relationship but Lexa is never shy with _showing_ Clarke her feelings when they were alone. It makes Clarke feel special, even after all this time, when Lexa does feel comfortable enough to share her feelings with Clarke — but she just wanted to focus on the happy moments of today, feeling no need to push the brunette any further.

Harper comes to collect their plates, and they ask for the bill, Clarke noticing they are the only ones left in the restaurant. However, when Harper comes back, instead of a card reader, it’s with Monty.

Clarke smiles wide at the man before her. Happy to see that no matter how many things have changed, Monty and Harper have stayed the same.

“It’s on the house. For old friends.” Monty announces.

“No,” Lexa argues. “We can’t do that. At least let us pay you.”

“No can do. Consider this your lesson that Valentine’s Day is _not_ just about money.” Harper grins. “We also wanted to give you this…” Harper reveals a bottle of wine from behind her back. “Monty had bought this for us tonight, but I had to tell him that I won’t be drinking for a while. I trust you are still good at keeping secrets?” She places a hand to her stomach.

Clarke felt like she was at a loss for words, “I just… congratulations!”

Getting up to hug her old friends, Clarke felt so happy to have them back in her life. “We’ll see you next week?” Monty asks.

“Yes, it’ll be a real delinquent reunion.” Clarke smiles.

Grabbing their coats, Lexa tells Harper and Monty that they’ll come back soon — and actually pay for their meal. Clarke also notices that Lexa left them a big tip without the pair noticing, probably enough to cover their bill anyway.

Settling back into the car, they can see Monty and Harper dancing around to the music in the diner while they wait for their next customers.

“They’re… sweet,” Lexa says.

“Yeah, they really are. I’m glad you noticed.” Clarke replies pointedly.

Lexa looks at Clarke and grabs her hand, kissing her wrist. “I know you went easy on me with the diner. So what’s next? Ice skating? Movie theatre? The Planetarium? I’m up for whatever.”

“I definitely don’t need to see Murphy and Raven doing, well, _anything_ … so a big no to that last one.” Clarke laughs. “I thought we’d go to the beach.”

“The beach? In February? No one will be there.”

Clarke shrugs and pulls the Mustang out of the parking lot. “Exactly. I thought you’d like that part."

♡ ♡ ♡

Laying out a big blanket, Clarke surveyed the little spot they decided to set up camp.

As she expected, no one else was at the beach but then. It was only a bit chilly, but with the extra blankets that Clarke packed, they’d be just fine. The water was calm, gently lapping at the shoreline.

“We had dinner, so now it’s time for dessert.” Clarke declared. Pulling out a small lunch bag to reveal chocolate covered strawberries.

Lexa sat down on the blanket gingerly, slipping out of her shoes and looking at Clarke skeptically.

“This is it?” She asks.

“Is what it?”

“Your big Valentine’s plan. Going for lunch and then sitting by the ocean?”

Clarke opened up the bottle of wine gifted to them by Harper and Monty, realizing she didn’t pack any glasses. She shrugs and takes a swig right from the bottle before passing it to Lexa.

“I wanted to plan a day for you, Lex. Nothing fancy, just… us.”

“It’s perfect, Clarke. Thank you.”

“Thank you for letting me take you out. Now, get over here and enjoy it with me.”

The hours went by, with the girls talking and laughing. At one point, they ventured out into the water, rolling up their pants as far as they could go and feeling the icy cold water rush past them as it meets the shoreline. After one particularly shocking blast of water, Clarke almost fell trying to escape it. Lexa had caught her, and the resounding laugh that escaped the brunette was like listening to birdsong in the spring: worth the long winter wait.

Before they knew it, the sun was starting to set, the day’s blue sky melted into pinks and oranges, and they make their way back to their little bundle of blankets. Shivering from the cold and passing the wine back and forth to stave off the feeling from the inside out.

“I wish I had brought something to paint with,” Clarke says while staring out into the horizon. Lexa, however, only had eyes for the blonde.

Brushing back some fly-away strands of hair behind Clarke’s ear, Lexa leaned in to kiss her. Soft and sweet, as if she wanted to put all the words she couldn’t say into a single kiss.

“Clarke, I couldn’t imagine my life without you. You’ve shown me that I don’t need to be afraid of love. Not anymore. Never with you. I’m sorry I took so long to realize that, and I sometimes still struggle.” Lexa places another kiss on Clarke's lips before the pair fall down onto the blanket to hold one another close. “Today has been perfect. You're perfect.”

Clarke pulls Lexa closer, the two of them laying back onto the blanket and cuddling together watching the sun make its descent. With Lexa’s arms around her, their legs intertwined, and her body warmed by the wine, Clarke feels at home. Listening to the slow and steady heartbeat where Clarke’s head lies on Lexa’s chest, she knows that Lexa feels the same way. If this moment lasted forever, it would still end too soon.

Seeing the moon peeking out from beneath the stars, Clarke thinks she finally gets poetry; Beautiful and annihilating.

**Author's Note:**

> to learn more about the t100 fic for blm initiative, check out our [carrd](https://t100fic-for-blm.carrd.co/)!!
> 
> come exchange valentines with me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/hopskipaway) or [tumblr](https://hopskipaway.tumblr.com/).


End file.
